


In My Veins

by Blazinwithzouis



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, HarryandLouis - Fandom, Larry - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Journal Entries, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-04-05 12:39:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4180200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blazinwithzouis/pseuds/Blazinwithzouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis writes in his journal about his beautiful best friend, Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I'm doing with this one tbh. Title is from the song by Andrew Belle.

Journal Entry #1:  
I wasn't aware before, of the dire thirst that was so very prominent in my heart. I thought that I would never feel this certain way about how someone smelled, or how someone walked, or even how someone breathed until I finally met you. I thought that it was some sick joke the universe was playing on me and my fragile heart but now I know that it was truly a gift from God, it's all it could be. A gift from God to anyone who has ever had the immense pleasure in meeting you and knowing of your enlightened existence. When I was a child, my mother told me stories of Greek gods and goddesses and grand heroes who would fight in these elaborate and great battles and win for the greater good of the world, and I was sure they were purely imaginary, that is until I met you. From the first time I saw your curly hair, to the very first glance at your incredibly green eyes that one rainy, spring day. You came up to me and asked me what my name was and to this day I still do not know how I managed to answer you in a complete sentence without totally losing myself in your beautiful light, cream colored skin. You were my first friend, you were my only friend. You were the only person I believed in, you were the only person that believed in me. We used to have long conversations on how we were cultivated by the angels for each other. How we only existed for one another. And now I realize that that belief was not completely untrue because now that you aren't here, I am a mess. I do not exist. I am nothing. I am just a mass of unraveled feelings that probably can never be put back in order ever again. The worst part of that is, I'm not sure I want them to be put back in order. I do not deserve to be a regular human being if you are not here, if you are not right beside me like you used to be. I deserve nothing without you. I just wish you were here, if you were everything would be okay. But you aren't so nothing is okay at all. Isn't that colossally fucked up? How it only takes one person to make everything fine and dandy again? I only have one thing to say: Happiness is overrated and unobtainable without you and this is the only thing I am sure of.


	2. Journal Entry #2

Today I went on a walk. It was brief and cold and I could see my breath right in front of my face. Those sort of things always make me think of you, everything always makes me think of you. I wonder if you can see your breathe wherever you are and if you can, I wonder if you're thinking of me too. Everyone keeps asking me if I am okay and I stopped answering them a long time ago. That question is so bothersome and I became wary of it after very soon. How could anyone possibly think that I am okay? How could anyone even look at me and be able to ask me such an atrocious, pig-headed question at a time like this? If you were here you would tell those buggers to fuck off...but then again if you were here they wouldn't be asking me that question to begin with, now would they? I just wish you could've helped me understand you more than I did. I wish you would have let me fucking help you. Why did you have to leave me with all of these people that don't know the difference between a galaxy and a universe. You always knew the difference. I know that seems like an insignificant thing to bring up right now but don't you remember the first time we met and you came right up to me and said, "Hi, do you know the difference between a galaxy and a universe? Because I do and I'll teach you if you want!". I remember thinking to myself that I didn't give a rat's ass about the difference but I sure as hell wanted you to take the time and explain it to me just so I could look and hear you a little bit longer. And from then on that's how we described it to each other, we were both meant for one another and we knew because we seemed to be the only two who knew the difference between a galaxy and a universe. You were always the more lively of us, I guess that's why I'm so surprised now that you aren't here. I don't think I can be the lively one even now that I am the only one left. It isn't fair, you are supposed to be here and I'm supposed to be wherever the fuck you are. But life isn't fair I guess. We both are learning that the hard way.


End file.
